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The Calgary Stampede: Bucking Huge
April 22nd, 2008
AUTHOR: Scott Tavener
The Calgary Stampede: Bucking Huge
There are myriad ways to hurt your ass: Tie your feet to the back of a drag car and wait quietly; light a fire, douse the flames with water until only embers remain and sit down; paint a target on your buttocks, go to a driving range and present the moon; take the padding out of an old-school wooden rollercoaster car and ride it continuously (keep your hands inside); go to a corporeal punishment-era school and be mischievous; etc.
Sure, the preceding list can be fun (especially the rollercoaster option), but you probably won't garner acclaim, adoration, and financial validation by enduring a golf-ball posterior attack. The best way to hurt your ass while remaining constructive: win a rodeo. Even better: win the biggest outdoor rodeo ever.
Begun by rope-thrower extraordinaire, Guy Weadick (ahem/apropos), the Calgary Stampede draws over a million big-hat-wearing revelers per year. A pageant of Western culture, the Stampede (b. 1912) and the accompanying Exhibition (b. 1886) boast a world-class, $100 000-prize rodeo, numerous concerts (including theTragically Hip), midway rides, chuckwagon races, countless bucking, joyous clown goring, a parade, and down-home pomp aplenty.
This year's Stampede runs from July 5th to 15th. Bring 10 gallons of Preparation H.
Source: martiniboys.com
There are myriad ways to hurt your ass: Tie your feet to the back of a drag car and wait quietly; light a fire, douse the flames with water until only embers remain and sit down; paint a target on your buttocks, go to a driving range and present the moon; take the padding out of an old-school wooden rollercoaster car and ride it continuously (keep your hands inside); go to a corporeal punishment-era school and be mischievous; etc.
Sure, the preceding list can be fun (especially the rollercoaster option), but you probably won't garner acclaim, adoration, and financial validation by enduring a golf-ball posterior attack. The best way to hurt your ass while remaining constructive: win a rodeo. Even better: win the biggest outdoor rodeo ever.
Begun by rope-thrower extraordinaire, Guy Weadick (ahem/apropos), the Calgary Stampede draws over a million big-hat-wearing revelers per year. A pageant of Western culture, the Stampede (b. 1912) and the accompanying Exhibition (b. 1886) boast a world-class, $100 000-prize rodeo, numerous concerts (including theTragically Hip), midway rides, chuckwagon races, countless bucking, joyous clown goring, a parade, and down-home pomp aplenty.
This year's Stampede runs from July 5th to 15th. Bring 10 gallons of Preparation H.
Source: martiniboys.com